Time for Goodbye

Well, time has flown/dragged by, it seems. And in just a short 27 days, I'll be on a plane to Ecuador. I'm not exactly sure what I expected to feel around now. Maybe some kind of combination of excitement, anticipation, and a little fear. But really, all I feel is sad. This week has been my last full week working at Ruby's Diner, and last night I said goodbye to two of my co-workers. And it was a real, actual goodbye...not just a "see you when i get back."

The truth is, I won't be going back to work at Ruby's when I come home, and while moving on to other things is an exciting idea, it's also a little painful simply because of how attached I have become to that place and those people and what it all has meant to me for the last (almost) 7 years. So I will have some more goodbye's to say tonight and a couple more each Sunday in June as my co-workers and I work our last shifts together. It's bittersweet, really. Because as much as I complain about the rude, awful, general public...I will miss it. I'll miss my friends. I'll miss the place in which I learned how to make everywhere I am into a mission field. I'll miss all the laughter and the silliness. I'll miss the free food. I'll miss having a place to belong, and a place where I am good at what I do.

So, truthfully, yesterday and today...I don't want to leave. I don't want to go to Ecuador. Because it's hard to say goodbye, even for the things you're certain will be worth it. And even though it's time to move on and I won't be going back to Ruby's when I come back from Ecuador, I know without a doubt that that place is a huge part of who I am and how I've gotten to be this way. (Maybe that's a good thing, or maybe not...I don't know). And I will always treasure the time I got to spend there.

I've been saying a lot of goodbye's lately. Thursday night was the swim banquet for Warren High and since this was my last year as a swim coach at Warren, my boss (girls' head coach Josie Cordero) had me stand up in front while she made a really nice speech and said thank you for the last 8 years of hard work. It was a real honor, and I felt really loved and appreciated. I will miss that job a lot too.

So, it seems the time for change has come...I didn't realize it would make me feel so melancholy. Maybe after all the goodbye's are said and I move on into the future, the excitement will set in more fully. I guess it's just part of the process.